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- siblings prep us for politics
siblings prep us for politics
on co-sibling-ing in intentional communities (not just co-parenting), the benefits of siblings for our political world, oh, and party for 1000 subs?
Jasper Lydon
March 18, 2025
Table of Contents
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co-parenting as co-sibling-ing
When we talk about co-parenting, we often focus on the benefits for the parents — after all, they’re the ones making the decision to shift to that kind of arrangement.
I find it really interesting, though, how co-parenting models also create new sibling relationships and dynamics.
Me and my siblings have always been pretty close, and I feel lucky to have grown up knowing much of my extended family (fourth-cousins-once-removed and so on) so this idea was really appealing to me.
My siblings, in 2023, joining me for the first weekend of my research trip
Every parent I’ve talked to who’s raised their kids in community mentioned the benefits of having an honorary extended family right near by.
Single parents platonically partner up:
I moved here in 2019 because I wanted to live around people who cared about knowing their neighbors, about helping each other. I wanted not to be isolated with my son, especially as I was leaving my marriage.
I now live in a shared house with two moms and two sons who are the same age, in an apartment. Living with another mom has huge benefits. I can go to the gym and know there’s an adult at home. There’s someone else to share chores and responsibilities with.
Neighbors become like aunts and uncles:
It’s something on the scale of a family. I can drop Lucy [their one-year-old] off with neighbors and it’s not rude to ask. All this stuff is unprecedented in my life, and it’s so effortless here, because people share an intention.
And neighborhood kids become like siblings:
Our son Eric grew up with 25 kids around. My son was an only child but he very much had siblings. They all still keep in touch, they visit each other, check in on each other, hang out together over the holidays. I suspect they’ll be close for life.
siblings as skill-builders
living close to extended family isn’t at all a new idea. in most countries, it’s the default. even in the U.S. a hundred years ago, it was the default, and it still is in many immigrant communities.
but creating these extended family relationships with people who were previously strangers, just on the basis of shared commitment to a community, is somewhat more novel.
sibling relationships are often the longest-lasting relationships in our lives. growing up with siblings around teaches us social-emotional skills like how to manage conflict and how to play well with others — skills which are desperately needed in america today.
positive sibling relationships are also shown to improve well-being over the course of our lifetimes.
none of these effects are tied to being biologically related, though; it’s the experience of growing up alongside each other, playing together, and navigating life together; seeing each other on a regular basis over the course of our entire adolescence. which is to say, co-sibling-ing in chosen communities can reap the same social-emotional benefits as growing up with biological siblings.
My brother John and I looking up at an old tree
approaching 1,000 subscribers??
what a crazy month for grass roots newsletter!
our (real!) growth chart over the past month
welcome welcome to everyone who’s joined recently :)
i think when we hit 1,000 subscribers, we should celebrate… what’s the newsletter version of having a party?
i’ll be busy this week researching how to set it up so that the next newsletter explodes with confetti on your screen when you open it
much love,
jasper
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